Last night when I was out with a few friends, and another one of my friends hit me up to let me know that Charlie Sheen was broadcasting LIVE on ustream. Holy shit! I’m out, I can’t watch. =/

Well, I downloaded the ustream app to my Android device anyway to try, and I couldn’t hear a thing, so I quit after about a minute and a half. BUT, just in case that ever happens again… I’m prepared. haha

So, I’m watching the recording of said broadcast this morning afternoon to catch up on what I missed… and while Google’ing Tiger’s Blood (by Ritual Cleanse) I came across an article written by someone who calls himself “Johnny Firecloud” for craveonline.com. 

Said article starts off like this:

Viewers tuning in to Charlie Sheen’s premier Ustream broadcast on Saturday night witnessed a spectacle of disturbing and toxic proportions, sending the latest pop-culture craze deep into tragically sad territory. Imagine a coke party with the powder hidden from view of the lens, and a horde of enabling vultures perched in the background, waiting for an opportunity, while a wildly delusional egomaniac who’s lived a life of complete excess spirals out of control for all to see. 

I want to focus on this part:

(we’ll get back to him calling it sad in a sec)

Imagine a coke party with the powder hidden from view of the lens, and a horde of enabling vultures perched in the background, waiting for an opportunity, while a wildly delusional egomaniac who’s lived a life of complete excess spirals out of control for all to see. 

HAS THIS FUCKING DOUCHE EVER LISTENED TO MORNING RADIO?!

Because I’m pretty sure he just described any generic morning duo between the 90’s and today. You know the David Cross bit about morning radio? (here’s the link if you don’t) YEAH. So, you might want to re-think your description Mister “Firecloud”. 

Oh, and about the bit where he mentions that this whole thing is “sending the latest pop-culture craze deep into tragically sad territory” … does he even realize what this really is?

This is really the media straight wrapped around his cock! This is really a genius marketing blitz! This is really Charlie Sheen creating HIS OWN reality show out of his actual life. You want to talk about “tragically sad territory”, talk about any of the mindless drivel that MTV airs now a days.

Jersey Shore … there’s all the proof I need.

BUT, who the fuck needs assisted reality like the crap MTV airs, when you have Charlie Sheen out making the world his God damn petting zoo every damn day of his life?! 

He’s definitely not lying when he’s using his newfound catchphrase: “winning.”